Fallen : Query Letter Sample

Here is the query letter for my novel Fallen. Feel free to leave a comment to critic it or just say the first thing that comes to mind about it. Yes, it was hard to write this query letter and one of the hardest things to do concerning my budding author’s career. Summarizing my whole novel into a few paragraphs took me 6 rewrites and months of polishing it off and spit shinning it. It’s as much a process as it is to write a whole novel and harder than writing a novel. I hope that by my posting this query letter I may be able to help at least one of you fellow writer’s out there with your query letter by leaving you an example to see for yourselves. I won’t kid you as I repeat this, it is hard to do but you will and can do it. After all you are a writer, it’s in your blood as it is in every writer’s blood!

Dear  :

What would you do if you came toe to toe with a cat goddess who was posing as your lover and could steal your soul with a kiss? Would you run, hide or fight for your life?

Set in the present day city of New Orleans, Louisiana is the story of a red haired college student and her first experiences with falling in love. Kara, a Canadian born but American adopted college student is off on her first adventures studying to become a nurse when she runs into a man who would intrigue both her senses and awaken her sensuality.

As their love grows so does the boiling chaos of her beau’s dark secret. The Egyptian demon on his back who has buried herself deep in his soul and just beneath the surface of his skin. She is an ancient and powerful demon who can steal a soul with a single kiss. With Kara in the picture she has become enraged with jealous hatred for the red haired college beauty. Her plans are simple, kill everyone Kara loves and cares for then torture the woman until she begs for death herself. When her friends find out about the cat goddess they get involved to save Kara’s life and it becomes a battle of both wits and survival. As the bodies start piling up under the strain of the life and death battle between new age world and ancient world demon will love conquer all or will they fail and be forever star crossed lovers?

I would be honored to send you part or all of FALLEN, completed at 59, 191 words in the paranormal thriller genre. I’m a freelance graphics designer, web developer and published short story writer. My short story credits include Hotel Hell, Martell Mansion and The Dream which have been published by ReaderJack.com for their fall 2008 Halloween short story compilation contest.

My co-author,TS from Corpus Christi, Texas, is an unpublished freelance short story writer who helped co-author FALLEN with his military tactical knowledge from his long years of service duties in the Navy. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Keep reading and be happy doing it!


6 thoughts on “Fallen : Query Letter Sample

  1. carolineosullivan says:

    Hi Tabitha,

    Thanks for sharing this. I am struggling with writing a query letter myself. You’re right, it’s much harder than writing the book! Have you had any positive feedback from your query?


    Caroline O’Sullivan

    • tabithatodd says:

      2 rejection letters so far and both were very positive. One was a form letter but personalized and the other was sent by the agent’s assistant but very personalized and encouragement was given. Also said that the idea of the novel and story was very intriguing and good luck from both.

      I’m glad I could help you out by posting mine, feel free to cruise through the links on the blog and look at Absolute Writer Forums. They have some great resources there and you don’t have to join the forum to access the resources at all.

      Good luck to you and your writings, I wish the best for you!


  2. Darcy says:

    Just wanted to wish you the best on your query hunt! The best advice I can give you is to trim down your use of adjectives and focus more on those details that sell the story. The agent doesn’t need to know that your main character has red hair or is a beauty. Those are the kinds of details that are best left revealed in the manuscript itself. Where as, her being a college student is more necessary to the plot because it hints at how old the character is, perhaps setting, maturity level etc. I would also advise you to think about the conflict of the story, give form to the antagonist. Does she (the demon) have a name? Being mixed up in a love triangle is not unusual in a romantic thriller, so what is it specifically about the power struggle that’s going to make it different from everything else in the genre.

    Again good luck and good fortune.

    • tabithatodd says:

      Thank you kindly for the critic. I appreciate it greatly and will put your advice to good use indeed!


  3. Hi, nice post. I have been wondering about this topic,so thanks for sharing. I will certainly be subscribing to your blog.

  4. Hi, interesting post. I have been pondering this issue,so thanks for writing. I’ll definitely be subscribing to your posts. Keep up great writing

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s